Who's That Cat?
by StarlightSorcerer
Summary: Jess brings a stray cat to the apartment.


"Hey, Schmidt, wake up."

"Huh…?" Schmidt blinked his eyes open. Winston stood at the end of his bed with Nick, who was holding a flashlight. They both looked pretty worried. Schmidt sat up fast, eyes wide. "I swear I had no idea!" he said quickly. "She wasn't wearing the ring!"

Nick made a face. "What?"

"What?" Schmidt cleared his throat. "Uhh, what's going on? That's what I…meant to say…"

Winston sighed. "We think someone might've broken into the apartment."

"Oh, no." Schmidt scrambled out of bed. "No no no no no!" He ran to his closet and threw the door open. His eyes darted around frantically. "I gotta protect my maneki-neko collection!" He opened up a cardboard box and began stuffing the figurines into it.

"Ya know, it doesn't even surprise me anymore." Winston shrugged and left the room briskly.

Nick pointed to Schmidt with his flashlight. "That's twenty dollars in the jar!" he said as he headed out into the living room.

There was a scratching sound coming from the door to the balcony.

"Open the curtain," Winston yell-whispered.

"What good is that gonna do?" Nick yell-whispered back.

"We gotta make sure it's actually a person in there, and not just a bird or something."

"What if it's not a bird? You wanna be assaulted?"

Winston groaned in frustration. "Well, he can't get back in, obviously! He must've locked himself out!"

"No burglar _slash _serial rapist is that stupid!"

Winston stared incredulously at his friend. "Just open the curtain."

"Fine," Nick sighed. He threw open the curtain, shining his flashlight out the door. He glanced around. "I don't see anybody."

"Check again." Winston pointed to the floor. A small orange cat was scratching at the glass, desperate to get back inside. Winston crossed his arms. "Now, how do you suppose _that _got there?"

Nick turned his head towards Jess's bedroom. "JESS!" he shouted angrily.

Jess came out of her room a few moments later, tying the string on her purple bathrobe. "Guys, what's going on?" she yawned. "I was sleeping…"

"Yeah, so were we," Winston informed her.

"Until that thing woke us up!" Nick motioned to the cat with his flashlight.

"Don't call him 'that thing'!" Jess opened the door and picked the kitty up. "His name is Ginger Snap." She picked up his paw and waved it. "Hello!"

Schmidt entered the room, carrying a box. He saw the cat and raised an eyebrow. "Is that the burglar?"

Jess smiled. "Well, I guess you could say he's a _cat_ burglar?" she snorted with laughter.

"Oh!" Schmidt chuckled. "That's a good one!"

"Can we get a bad pun jar, please?" Nick muttered.

"You know what else is funny…" Schmidt pointed to his box. "I just packed up all my maneki-nekos, and now, there's a cat in the loft!" he chuckled again, glancing between Winston and Nick, who were both still glaring at him. "Right? Guys?"

"That's another twenty in the jar," Nick said.

"Dammit!" Schmidt marched away in a huff. "There goes all my kotatsu money," he mumbled.

* * *

The next morning, Jess was preparing breakfast while Ginger Snap sat on the kitchen counter.

Nick watched the feline grooming its filthy fur and wrinkled his nose at it. "Where did you find that cat, Jess?"

"Outside the middle school," Jess answered. "I used to feed him anchovies all the time." She took out a spatula and flipped one of the pancakes she was making. "Then one day I decided I would take him home with me."

Nick sighed. "Jess, what if he already belongs to someone? Like one of your students, maybe?"

"No, he's a stray." Jess petted the cat. "Look at how dirty he is."

"I noticed. He's sitting where it's supposed to be clean. Where food is. Food that we put in our mouths."

Jess smiled and picked up the cat. She scratched the top of his head cheerfully, only half-listening to her friend.

Nick frowned, seeing how attached she was to the cat. "We can't keep him."

"Aww, but Ginger Snap wants to stay in the nice apartment! He loves it here!" Jess insisted. She skipped over to Nick and held the cat close to his face. "Let me stay!" she imitated a British accent. "It's nice and warm here!"

"The cat's British?" Nick muttered the question.

"Yes I am, govnuh! I want to say here and eat fish and chips with Jess! Please don't send me away!"

Nick just stared straight ahead. "It's not working, Jess."

Jess put the cat down. "Not even a little?" she asked.

As Schmidt came into the living room, Ginger Snap ran over to him and rubbed his head against his leg. "Hey! Not on my new pants!" Schmidt groaned. He shooed the cat away and plopped down on the couch. "When are we getting rid of it?"

"We're not getting rid of Ginger Snap," Jess answered calmly.

"Come on!" Schmidt threw his arms in the air in frustration. "Jess, cats are filthy! They shed hair _everywhere, _they're always licking themselves, they poop in a box…"

Ginger Snap hopped onto the couch and sat next to Schmidt. He stared at him with big olive-green eyes.

Schmidt looked at Ginger Snap, trying to think of more things to hate about cats. "And…and…"

The cat licked his paw and swiped it over his ear.

"AWW!" Schmidt smiled and petted the cat. "He's ADORABLE!" he looked over at Nick. "What's wrong with you, Nick? Why would you wanna get rid of this little bundle of cuteness, you heartless monster?"

Nick sighed. "Okay, how about this…we put up some posters around town, and if nobody calls looking for the cat, we keep it."

"Him," Jess corrected.

"Him."

Jess nodded slowly. "I guess…we could do that…"

"Great." Nick pushed back in his stool and stood up. "I'll make some posters." He glanced over at Schmidt. "Where's your camera?"

Schmidt was stroking the cat. He wore a big, stupid grin on his face.

"Never mind. I'll find it." Nick went to Schmidt's bedroom. "Watch the cat while we're gone!" he yelled back to him.

"Can do!" Schmidt gave a thumbs-up.

* * *

Nick and Jess walked down a quiet suburban street, their arms filled with posters. Nick stopped by a telephone pole and taped one of the posters to it.

"Are you sure we should put posters there?" Jess asked. "I don't think anybody reads posters taped to telephone poles anymore."

Nick continued down the sidewalk. "Yes, they still do. You just don't want the cat to be found."

"He's not gonna be found because he doesn't belong to anyone. But seriously, people don't look at posters on telephone poles anymore," she insisted. "But people _do _read posters on…umm…" she squinted thoughtfully. "On the sides of buildings, or on doors, or in a small café, or…uhh…on a blimp."

Nick chuckled. "You want me to find a blimp?" he joked.

Jess sighed.

* * *

There was a knock on the door of the apartment. Winston moseyed over and opened it. Cece stood in the doorway, texting someone on her phone.

"Hey, Winston," she greeted him as she entered the apartment. "Is Schmidt here?"

"Yep." Winston closed the door and followed her down the hall. "Him and his new friend."

"New friend?" Cece echoed, sounding curious. She peered into the living room.

Schmidt sat on the couch with Ginger Snap on his lap. He was dangling a stuffed fish on a string in front of the cat, who batted it around playfully.

Cece smiled. "Oh, you guys have a cat now?"

"Maybe," Winston told her as he went to the kitchen. "Unless we find out he already has an owner."

"Huh?" Cece looked confused.

"Jess found it by the middle school," Schmidt said. "We're not sure if it's a stray or not."

"Ahh." Cece nodded in understanding. "So, Schmidt, uhh, remember I asked you to help me out with that, uhh, thing…in my car?" She and Schmidt had a secret arrangement.

Schmidt watched Ginger Snap playing, and said nothing.

"Schmidt? The thing?" Cece raised her voice a little. "Ya know…_that _thing?"

Schmidt's head snapped up. "Oh! Right! Uhh…well, I'm kinda busy right now? Maybe…you could come back later?"

Cece shook her head. "You can't be serious." She marched out of the apartment, slamming the door loudly behind her.

A few moments later, Schmidt looked at the door. "Wait…what just happened?"

* * *

Two weeks went by, and no one had called about Ginger Snap. Jess, Nick, Schmidt, and Winston sat in the living room watching TV. Ginger Snap was seated on the table at the center of the room.

"So, Nick," Jess started. "Still want to get rid of Ginger Snap?"

Nick just shrugged. "I've kinda gotten used to having him around now."

"Yeah, me too," Winston agreed.

"Well, I didn't even have to get used to having my kitty bro around!" Schmidt bragged as he petted the cat. "I'm thinking of getting him a little kimono. A cat-mono."

Nick snorted. "That's ridiculous."

"Aww! That's a great idea!" Jess jumped up and down a little in her chair. "But I get to pick the color!"

At that moment, the telephone rang.

"I'll get it." Nick jumped up and headed to the kitchen. He picked up the phone. "Hello?" He said into the receiver. "Uhh, yeah, we have him."

Jess and Schmidt stopped their conversation when they heard this. They looked at Nick curiously.

Nick stared back at them sadly. "Yeah," he said into the phone. "Yeah, tomorrow's fine….okay….see ya then…bye." He hung up the phone, heaving a long sigh as he did.

"Who was it?" Jess asked, although she already knew the answer.

"It was Ginger Snap, er, Sunset's owner. They're coming here tomorrow to pick him up."

"Oh." Jess looked at the cat. "Sunset," she said quietly. "That's a nice name."

Nick stared at her. Seeing Jess so heartbroken was worse than having to say goodbye to the cat.

Schmidt hung his head. "No cat-mono…"

* * *

Nick, Jess, and Winston sat on the couch, quietly watching TV. It had been one week since they had had to give Ginger Snap back to his rightful owner.

Nick glanced over at Jess, who was picking her nails, not really watching the screen. "Jess, do you wanna choose the show?" he asked, trying to hand the remote to her. "I know it's my turn, but…"

"No, I'm good," Jess said quietly. She didn't look at him. "Watch whatever you want."

"Okay," Nick nodded. He looked at the TV again, but he wasn't really paying attention to what was on.

The front door opened and Schmidt entered the room. "Hey, guys." As he passed through the kitchen, something on the counter caught his eye, and he stopped to pick it up. He smiled as he examined the object. "Aww!"

"What is it?" Jess peered into the kitchen. She could see now that Schmidt was holding a picture frame.

Schmidt walked into the living room and handed it to her.

Jess's face lit up when she saw the photo contained in the frame. It was Ginger Snap, and his name was engraved into the frame. She looked up at Nick, eyes sparkling. "Thank you," she said.

Nick glanced at her. "Sure. You're welcome." He smiled at her.

Jess smiled back.


End file.
